Current:Home > MarketsNarcissists can't stand these traits. Here's how to become immune to narcissists.-LoTradeCoin
Narcissists can't stand these traits. Here's how to become immune to narcissists.
View Date:2024-12-23 20:49:12
Are some people immune to narcissists?
Just as some people can't help but attract narcissists, mental health experts say there are certain qualities that turn off narcissists too, almost like repellent.
Ramani Durvasula, a psychologist and author of "Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist," says some qualities not only keep narcissists at bay, but also help people heal from narcissistic relationships faster.
"It's almost like a vaccine," she says. "It still messed you up, but you wouldn't get as sick."
Though everyone's vulnerable to narcissists to some degree, mental health experts say anyone can boost their narcissism immune system. Here's how.
Don't give praise or validation easily
Indifference to gloating or bragging is a surefire way to turn off a narcissist, Durvasula says.
This is because narcissists are always on the hunt for attention and validation, something that's known as narcissistic supply; therefore, if a narcissist senses early-on that someone doesn't easily give praise, they're more likely to move on and seek out someone who does.
"If from the beginning you are not giving them a lot of validation − you're not oo-ing and aw-ing and fawning over them − they're probably going to move on to a new target pretty quickly," Durvasula says.
It may sound simple, but Durvasula warns for empathic people, this is often easier said than done.
"If you're genuinely someone who is warm and interested in what other people have to say, it's hard to turn that off," she says.
Narcissists have a type.Are you a narcissist magnet? Here's how to tell.
Make your boundaries clear − and stand by them
Narcissists love a challenge, but if they sense someone's boundaries are too impervious to break down, they'll often back off.
"Narcissists will sometimes feel it's not worth the effort if you're very clear with them about your boundaries," says Stephanie Sarkis, a psychotherapist and author of "Healing from Toxic Relationships: 10 Essential Steps to Recover from Gaslighting, Narcissism, and Emotional Abuse."
According to Sarkis, few things turn off a narcissist more than the word "no."
"Narcissists will work very hard at turning your no into a yes," she says. "Someone that holds firm to their boundaries and continues to say, 'no' − that person is not someone the narcissist wants to engage with."
Is narcissism genetic?Narcissists are made, not born. How to keep your kid from becoming one.
Know who you're dealing with
If a narcissist senses you aren't wise to their manipulative tricks, they'll be more likely to target you, says Chelsey Cole, a psychotherapist and author of "If Only I'd Known: How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth."
"The first thing you have to do is recognize who you're in the room with," she says. "What you don't know can and will harm you."
Plus, you don't have to be a psychologist or expert to know when something's off either. Durvasula says trusting your gut is one of the best ways to build narcissism immunity.
"Every single person I've ever known who's been in a narcissistic relationship has said, 'I felt funky by the third or fourth date,' " she says. "Listen to your body. It's smarter than your brain."
More:What happens when a narcissist becomes a parent? They force their kids into these roles.
More ways to boost your narcissism immunity
There are other ways to become less attractive to narcissists too. Here's some of them.
- Find meaning outside of romantic relationships: People who have purpose and a strong social support network outside of their romantic relationships recover more easily from narcissistic abuse than people who don't, Durvasula says.
- Work toward a secure attachment style: If you have a more avoidant or anxious approach to relationships, getting more secure in how you connect to others through therapy will make you less vulnerable to narcissists, Sarkis says.
- Recognize manipulation: People with a strong sense of truth and who know when they're being lied to are less likely to be manipulated by narcissists, Cole says.
- See your relationship from a bird's eye view: Looking at your relationship as if you were a third-party observer can help you see patterns more objectively and, as a result, recognize narcissism. "Observing it gives you more power over it," Cole says.
Do narcissists feel heartbroken?It's complicated. What to know about narcissism, breakups.
veryGood! (8463)
Related
- It's Red Cup Day at Starbucks: Here's how to get your holiday cup and cash in on deals
- Taylor Swift brings back 2 cut songs, sings another for 10th time in acoustic section
- Off the Grid: Sally breaks down USA TODAY's daily crossword puzzle, Cutting the Cards
- Ex- NFL lineman Michael Oher discusses lawsuit against Tuohy family and 'The Blind Side'
- See Leonardo DiCaprio's Transformation From '90s Heartthrob to Esteemed Oscar Winner
- Ex- NFL lineman Michael Oher discusses lawsuit against Tuohy family and 'The Blind Side'
- Why preseason struggles should serve as wake-up call for Chargers' Jim Harbaugh
- Caleb Downs leads 4 Ohio State players selected to Associated Press preseason All-America first team
- The 10 Best Cashmere Sweaters and Tops That Feel Luxuriously Soft and Are *Most Importantly* Affordable
- Got cold symptoms? Here’s when kids should take a sick day from school
Ranking
- Ben Foster files to divorce Laura Prepon after 6 years, according to reports
- Horoscopes Today, August 17, 2024
- Ex-officer convicted in George Floyd’s killing is moved to new prison months after stabbing
- 2 dead, at least 100 evacuated after flooding sweeps through Connecticut
- Indiana man is found guilty of murder in the 2017 killings of 2 teenage girls
- Here are the most popular ages to claim Social Security and their average monthly benefits
- California hits milestones toward 100% clean energy — but has a long way to go
- 16-month-old dead, 2 boys injured after father abducts them, crashes vehicle in Maryland, police say
Recommendation
-
Shaboozey to headline halftime show of Lions-Bears game on Thanksgiving
-
What happens when our Tesla Model Y's cameras can't see? Nothing good.
-
Shooting at a gathering in Baltimore leaves 1 dead and 7 others wounded, police say
-
Are your hands always cold? Some answers why
-
Amazon Black Friday 2024 sales event will start Nov. 21: See some of the deals
-
Charges dropped against man accused of fatally shooting a pregnant woman at a Missouri mall
-
Girl safe after boat capsizes on Illinois lake; grandfather and great-grandfather found dead
-
How Nevada aims to increase vocational education