Current:Home > Stocks'Chronically single' TikTokers go viral for sharing horrible dating advice-LoTradeCoin
'Chronically single' TikTokers go viral for sharing horrible dating advice
View Date:2024-12-24 00:08:07
Are you in a relationship and giving unsolicited dating advice? Your "chronically single" friends may like a word.
Single people are going viral on TikTok for sharing the most unhelpful dating tips they've gotten from well-meaning friends in relationships. In one of the videos, with 4.6 million views, a woman shares some of the most frustrating clichés she hears as a self-described "chronically single 25-year-old."
At the top of her − and many others' − lists: "It'll happen when you least expect it."
"Will it?" she asks. "Quite some time actually I have not expected it, and it still hasn't happened." Another contender? Stop looking, and that's when you'll find it. "I haven't been looking, and it's the not looking, I fear, that has resulted in years of absolutely no contact with a man," she adds.
Her video has inspired a slew of other TikTokers to share the unhelpful advice they've heard − and dating experts say the trend speaks to frustrations single people feel not only with modern dating but also with people in relationships giving unwanted or out-of-touch feedback.
"Dating is harder than ever before," says Amy Chan, a dating coach and author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart." "These platitudes are really condescending and minimize people's emotional experiences, and I think people are fed up."
More:People are paying thousands for 'dating boot camp' with sex experts. I signed up.
What 'chronically single' people are tired of hearing
The "chronically single" trend has been a way for singles to come together and commiserate over the worst dating advice they've received. Experts say it highlights how common some of these seemingly harmless platitudes have become − even if they're actually damaging to finding a relationship.
One of these oft-repeated platitudes, Chan says, is that a relationship will happen when you least expect it. She says this one is especially irresponsible, because it encourages singles not to put effort into meeting likeminded people, which is the best avenue for finding a relationship.
"These attitudes, they can spread and they can really stick in people's heads, because they're so catchy," Chan says. "And then people start believing them as truth."
Some of the platitudes are also insulting. One of these, Chan says, is that you have to love yourself before you can love anybody else, which another chronically single TikToker says he's tired of hearing in a video viewed 2.3 million times.
Get the latest internet buzz to your inbox with USA TODAY's Everyone's Talking newsletter.
It's true self-love is critical − but telling this to a single person implies they're single because they don't love themselves, which is not necessarily true.
"This journey of healing, it's not like you have to complete it before you're finally ready to meet someone," Chan says, adding it's not a journey that stops once you do get into a relationship either. "A lot of your growing can come in relation with someone else."
More:Chaotic Singles Parties are going viral on TikTok. So I went to one.
How to give real dating advice to your single friends
Blaine Anderson, a dating coach for men, says the complaints on TikTok show that we need to have empathy for those who want to find love but are struggling to do so.
However, she also says some of the chronically single TikTokers may be holding themselves back in ways they don't realize. For instance, many of them bemoan getting told to "put yourself out there," noting that they do go out to bars and are on dating apps.
While it's true they may be putting themselves out there in these ways, Anderson says the TikTokers may not be doing so in the best way. Instead of going to bars and clubs, she recommends meeting other singles through shared activities and interests.
Also, evaluate "how many new people you're meeting on a daily or weekly basis," Anderson says. "Technology and these social apps can lead people to thinking that they're meeting a lot of people and they're talking to a lot of people, but, if they actually write down every time they talk to a new person, the number is usually pretty low in real life."
Dating rules to avoid:Relationship experts say these common dating 'rules' are actually ruining your love life
If you know someone who's chronically single, often just listening and showing empathy are all they want from you. Only give advice, Anderson says, if they ask for it.
Also, don't assume singleness as necessarily a problem that needs to be solved.
"There's nothing inherently wrong with being single," Anderson says. "Approaching somebody and then giving them advice on how they can correct that problem, you're making a lot of assumptions."
Have you heard of 'relation-shopping'?It might be why you're still single.
And, if you're someone who's chronically single and does want a relationship, "Keep knowing that your path is unique," Chan says. "Maybe you'll spend your 20s in a relationship, and then maybe your later years not. Maybe it's going to be the other way around. There is no one right way."
veryGood! (5)
Related
- Shaboozey to headline halftime show of Lions-Bears game on Thanksgiving
- You should absolutely be watching 'South Side'
- The fantasia of Angelo Badalamenti, veil-piercing composer
- Greta Gerwig Reveals the Story Behind Barbie's “Mic Drop” Ending
- Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul referee handled one of YouTuber's biggest fights
- UPS reaches tentative contract with 340,000 unionized workers, potentially dodging calamitous strike
- The underage stars of a hit 1968 version of 'Romeo & Juliet' sue over their nude scene
- 50 wonderful things from 2022
- Record-setting dry conditions threaten more US wildfires, drinking water supplies
- Sleekly sentimental, 'Living' plays like an 'Afterschool Special' for grownups
Ranking
- Sam LaPorta injury update: Lions TE injures shoulder, 'might miss' Week 11
- Casey Phair becomes youngest ever to play in Women's World Cup at age 16
- What's making us happy: A guide to your weekend reading and viewing.
- Investigators pore over evidence from the home of alleged Gilgo Beach serial killer as search ends
- NBPA reaches Kyle Singler’s family after cryptic Instagram video draws concern
- Gilgo Beach murders: Police finish search at suspect's Long Island home
- A play about censorship is censored — and free speech groups are fighting back
- National monument honoring Emmett Till to consist of 3 sites in Illinois and Mississippi
Recommendation
-
Chiefs block last-second field goal to save unbeaten record, beat Broncos
-
Man who killed three people in small South Dakota town sentenced to life in prison
-
Bronny James, LeBron James' son, suffers cardiac arrest during USC practice. Here's what we know so far.
-
Remembering the artists, filmmakers, actors and writers we lost in 2022
-
NYC bans unusual practice of forcing tenants to pay real estate brokers hired by landlords
-
The decluttering philosophy that can help you keep your home organized
-
UPS union calls off strike threat after securing pay raises for workers
-
Nashville school shooter’s writings reignite debate over releasing material written by mass killers